I’m going to have to tell you the whole story.
And it gets kind of weird.

I quit my job as third shift shift leader
because they wouldn’t give me my raise
and I was tired of the stress
and as I was leaving —
I was going to go work for my father in Michigan
and I was leaving work the last day —
the guy who had hired me, who’d been demoted
asked me if I needed any grass

so I drove out to his houseboat
and I got there at dusk
and it was like a black and white film noir movie
and I went into his houseboat
and he brings out a bag of parsley
and I said, You’ve gotta be kidding,
I know what grass looks like and
this is parsley

He said, I know, try it

it was soaked in DMT

And I immediately took the whole bag

As I walked back across the film noir black and white movie set
I went into a telephone booth to call my brother
and tell him what I’d scored for the trip to Michigan

I was getting ready to leave after the phone call,
and the wharf lights came on
all of a sudden I could see
the outside of the phone booth was just
covered in spiders

And I hate spiders

So I ran away

Real fast

Driving from Baltimore to Brahman, Michigan
with the DMT-soaked parsley,
I’m pretty sure that’s when the giant U appeared
and I know I got so paranoid
that when I got off the highway
I would drive through the area
to see what the PEOPLE look like

and then I’d go into my bag
and I’d make myself look like THEM

I had stopped by the side of the freeway
to have another toke

and a state trooper stopped at the
berm on the other side of the freeway —
probably to see if I was in trouble —
so then he turned on his light
and went down to see if I was in trouble,
to come back and see me

so I took off

next exit, I got off, I went across,
I got back on, and I sped
down the section of highway the cop car
had just been on

and when I got to where the cop
had been the cop was where I was
and he didn’t look happy about it

So we both took off again

I went down to the next exit
got off

I went and hid,
parked behind a dead service station

I just stayed there a while

he never found me

but smoking TOO much DMT and
driving too long,

I was getting this fantasy
that I was finally ESCAPING
BALTIMORE after all these years
and they were going to try and STOP me
and I had this vision that this
was going to appear, drop down
out of the air and STOMP ME

I was about as fried as I’d ever been

When I finally got to my folks’ trailor
in Michigan I couldn’t quite stretch
all the way up

I had been in the same position
driving for 13 hours from Baltimore to
Brahman so I walked in hunched over
and set down at the kitchen table
I put my arms down on top of the table,
looked at them and started talking

and gibberish came out

NOBODY, including me, had any
idea what I said

My father told me I should go look at myself
so I went into the bathroom
and I put my two hands down on the trailer sink
and leaned forward and stared into the mirror

and ripped the cabinet off the wall

my father was furious. Until he looked at it
and saw that it had been held down basically
by four really really big staples

This stuff was so good, this DMT,
everyone was so impressed.
I started calling it Radish Rust
and I went back to Baltimore
and that was probably
the only successful drug deal I’d done

after that
it went downhill

Kathy Ireland Smith & Steven B. Smith (a collaboration)

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