god & rick rizzo

i’m waiting for the holy
ghost to slide in between my fingers
and the gravy
the mashed potatoes
the ketchup
left on someone’s finished plate
slammed into the buspan
i’m waiting for the holy ghost
coming better than water
to wash it all away
baptizing me
and filling me up with god
so that even honey won’t
stick
because last night my customer
said he’d pray for me
but it’s getting late
and the garbage bins are filling
up with dead meat
the waitress’s smile is
dying as she turns
the corner
and my favorite italian
love toy
is switching on off on off
like christmas lights
and taking me up and down
with each toy soldier turn

this is what he means
when my customer says
this world is ruled by satan
and i knew it the minute
i let those black eyes
reach inside me
and switch on my appetite

i told my customer
it doesn’t have to be jesus
all these myths
simplify down to the same
process
but he kept repeating
jesus
jesus
like a child who only knows
one name
one story
i asked why
he wanted to change me
and he said
so i could get into heaven
but i think it’s more like
me
when i see rick rizzo
flirting with someone else
i want to pull his waist up
against my waist
to turn his black eyes
so they’re always looking
at me
that would make me feel better
about myself

wendy shaffer

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